Diabetic coma and new greens

Catmint

Does anyone know what this is? I " thinned" it from the Univ. gardens...

Lovage

Did you know that 100 gm.s ( 4 oz.) of sugar in any form (honey and fruit included) creates a   50% reduction in your white blood cells abilities to do their job? This disabling effect begins about 1/2 hr. after you eat the sweets and can last up to 5 hours. (Encyclopedia of Natural Medicine, Murray and Pizzorno)

I am trying to eat a little less sugar. I read that fact nearly ten years ago and it has been on my mind since. I tend to push it out of my mind when I am shoveling swedish fish into my mouth by the handful. I tend to forget it when I am nearly shaking with a sugar high induced by eating 3 Green and Black Maya bars in one day (okay that never really happened but if I was a rich woman it may have).

I no longer put sugar in my coffee. I have officially ended my 2 yr. swedish fish binge. I ate so many this year that when I see them, bile rushes to the back of my throat.  I am trying to become more reasonable about sweets. I will always love sugar but I need to grow up.

So here is a great cookie recipe. The best oatmeal cookies I have ever made. I love oatmeal cookies because they may have all the sugar and butter of other cookies but they have added fiber from the oats. 

denial oatmeal cookies

2 sticks of butter

13/4 cups of brown sugar, packed 

2 large eggs

1/3 cup honey or homemade jam ( this addition makes the cookies chewy and not crunchy)

1 cup white flour

1/2 c. whole wheat flour ( oh so healthy)

4 scant cups rolled oats ( this last time i had a bit less oats >33/4<>

11/2 tsp. cinnamon

1/2 tsp.salt

1tsp vanilla

11/2 cups dark raisons or chocolate chips ( guess which I used)

Preheat to 350

This recipe is adapted from Once upon a Tart-Mentesana and Audereau. I changed a few ingredients and instead of 400 (their suggestion) I use 350. These burn easily. You want the bottoms light brown. It is best to check on them a lot until you know how long your oven takes Our oven is the size of a shoebox and it is very finicky.

I don't have any pictures because we ate them too fast.

On a lighter note, I have recently added some lovage to my garden. I adore lovage because it is a super flavorful herb/green that can be added to salads as a leafy addition or used to flavor tuna salad or the like. The leaves are like a jumbo flat parsley and it tastes like celery. An added bonus is that it takes over sort of like mint. Some wouldn't like that I suppose but I say the more the merrier and anyway I love editing my garden. It also helps that Henry will orally mow down anything easily accessible and edible in the garden. Also new is some catmint. I just love tall, fragrant, flowering herbs that look like they belong in a cottage garden.

On Resiliency

I have been thinking about that word lately. How it ebbs and flows in all of us. But mostly I think about my Henry. Is he resilient? I am taking an online class this summer ( Developmental Psych.) and of course the topic of resiliency came up in the first chapter.  

Today was a hectic day for many reasons that I won't bore you with. The fact that it was Wednesday (Henry's early dismissal day), was forgotten by both parents. We got a phone call informing us that Henry had been bussed back to his school. Now, for most kids this might be a bit annoying. For Henry I was sure it would be overwhelming and mortifying. As  soon as Matty got off the phone I was pushing him off the porch to get my terrified baby at his school. I started crying because I felt horrible and negligent. A half hour later I see Henry waving from our car and then moments after that I hear Henry's sneakers pounding the pavement. He was smiling, then laughing. How could this be? I hastily wiped my face and gave him a hug. Matt said that Henry had immediately informed him that he knew that we still loved him even though we forgot to get him at the bus stop. this was a big deal for all of us. Henry has come a long way.

hot

Every summer, like a crazy woman I find myself trying to tame some wild chamomile. It is easy enough to find. It tends to like pavement and cracks in the sidewalk. Wild chamomile usually doesn't last long in my garden despite my attempts to mistreat it. Here is some nestled among some rocks and some creeping thyme.

Last night's dinner...

Matt and I vacillate between feeling wealthy and impoverished, indulgent and puritanical, which is why we might have salmon, steamed artichokes, new potatoes, artisanal cheeses and fresh mango for dinner one week and rice and beans two or three nights in a row the next week.  

Last night we were pining for the Finger lakes and we had a relatively inexpensive (for a meat meal) dinner that satisfied that "summer with the family and old friends" feeling. Cornell chicken, garlicky kale and potato salad.

over sharing

I don't mean for this blog to be a personal journal but for me it is really healing to know that I can share these stories and be heard by loved ones. A friendly acquaintance just stopped by and we had an impromptu connection over  "special needs" kids.  Like me, she is very open and easy to talk to. I was feeling weird about that last post until I talked to Ashley and realized how important it is, not just for me, to share these stories. Ashley is currently getting her Masters in Speech Pathology and she is working at a local private practice therapy group that uses theatre as therapy for kids with autistic spectrum disorders.  We totally connected and she said some things that are really going to help me, I just made a new friend. I wouldn't have been able to do that if I didn't sometimes "over share".

learning to relax

I had a bit of a breakdown today. It only happens once in a great while but I want to write about it. For all those mothers (with babies in and out of the womb) who may someday feel the immense guilt I am currently after an outburst. 

Six years ago I had Henry and since then I feel like I haven't done anything perfectly well. I haven't finished anything I have started. I have become used to imperfection, which can be a good thing but it wears on me. It is also taken for granted that I watch the children. Matty always has something to do and instead of just taking off and doing what I need to, I always feel that I need to ask if he can watch the kids. To top it off, Ezzie has reentered the deep love phase for me and wants to be with me constantly.  I was thinking about all of these things this morning after Ezra and I picked up cupcakes ( that I should have baked myself) to bring to Sara's new apt. in South Amherst. I felt guilty driving by Henry's school ('cause I should be visiting every free moment I have) but I kept going. We had a quick visit with Sara who is renting half of a gorgeous farmhouse in the rolling hills of Amherst with views of the Holyoke range. Then we headed home but I made the selfish mistake of asking Ezra if he wanted  stop by the nursery and look at the flowers. Andrew's nursery is close to Sara's and it is my favorite, which is dangerous.  Ezra wasn't behaving. He hates holding hands and he ran into the parking lot while I was sniffing the scented geraniums. So, I grabbed his hand and put him struggling and screaming into the car seat. He screamed all the way home, 15 minutes. It was awful. At one point I screamed back which did not help. Once in the house I yelled again, then started bawling. He fell asleep. I fell into a deep dark pit of guilt. In an effort to numb myself I turned the dumb box on and what was on the screen but a pharmaceutical ad for Abilify (a drug for bipolarism). For a few seconds I was sure that I needed that drug. Then I turned the t.v off. 

I think I  (like Henry) need a bit of help teaching myself to calm down. It hasn't happened in weeks maybe months, but it is awful. I just wish I had purchased some wormwood,  I could use some therapeutic gardening right now!

this weekend

When Ezra dons this cape he becomes "superman Ezra" and I magically become "superman mom", that is what he calls me, seriously.

E. got his first "big boy haircut".

Henry and Keel call this their tree and like to fight about who gets the best spot.
Henry loves pulling Ezzie along in this trailer we just inherited. 
Friday night out with my girlfriends was lots of fun, we saw SATC and got some Asian fusion for dinner. Two potlucks this weekend, in a row.  Early morning walks. Lots of sunshine. Hope your weekend was full and happy too.