Saturday, June 9, 2012

The Bullet Train and Other Things I Have Been Doing...

1. Loving My Job- Recently I described my job as the experience of getting on a bullet train on Monday morning and being spit out on Friday. I don't love the frenetic pace. I miss my own children but overall I love what I do. For real. I love working with my kids. I think about my students all of the time. I want to be the best teacher. I want to make a difference and I think I do. A tiny one. I am constantly thinking about how to be a better teacher. I have such deep empathy for what some of them have seen and lived through. 
It's a challenge and I like it, mostly. I feel like I am constantly weaving in and out of disequilibrium. Feeling one minute like, "Yes, I get this. I can do this." and the next moment trying to figure out what is going on and how to solve a new set of problems. I am getting better at enjoying this process. But I do have pleasant thoughts about one day knowing exactly what to do and how to do it every single time. Though I know that is not quite possible! 
I also love the people I work with. I have never been surrounded by so many YES! people. So many people who spend such an enormous volume of time, helping, caring, being positive, being that essential, bright, shiny light in so many people's lives.  I love it. The support is somewhat akin to my experience at a women's college. Only when I was in college I felt a little bit on the fringe and I don't anymore. 

2. Running- I started running in January around the same time I started my job. I needed to exercise. I needed it to be cheap and convenient. I now run at least 3 times a week for 40 minutes. I feel so good.  A good portion of my run is on a trail near a pond and it is beautiful and serene. I am convinced that this is essential for my sanity. I even run in Springfield after work.  At a park.  With a coworker. It's safe mom, don't worry.  

3. Getting excited about my mandolin. And thinking a lot about playing it. Regularly. Real soon. 

4. Looking for apartments. Which is turning out to be very depressing. I realized the other day that every time I find one that looks lovely but is unaffordable, I feel a bit rejected. As in, "This apartment is so great, it's lovely. I'd be comfortable here. But, nope, it was meant for someone else. Someone who has more money." And goshdarnnit. I worked my butt of to get where I am. I have a degree. A license. A real job. Debt.  And it's hard to find a rental that I can afford.  And they go fast here.  Superfast. 


K8teebug said...

I love that #2 is running. I run with you alot, only it's imaginary. I imagine that you would yell at me when I try to make you sprint up that last really big hill. (The hills are plentiful here).

I think every teacher feels the way you do.

Elita said...

Kate- You are absolutely right. I would scream at you for making me sprint up a hill. Only, bc I would be out of breath, it would sound more like a muffled-shriek-groan.


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