All Hallow's Eve

therapy scarves

White linen that I plan to draw on and blue homespun

This morning Henry crawled into bed with me and whispered that he didn't want to go school anymore, it was too hard. Sometimes his teacher gives him a mean look because he can't pay attention and he tries so hard to pay attention but it is so difficult. He says there is too much hard work.

Well, what do you think I thought about all day?

It is hard enough trying to convince myself that I did not do anything stupid while he was growing in the womb and that the 24 hours of labor and the 3 days of NNICU and all of that wasn't my fault. Maybe it isn't, maybe it is, but there is nothing I can do to change it. What really tortures me is that right now I don't know what to do. Is he doing okay in school? Are his teachers and therapists doing all they can to help him? Should we change his I.E.P? Should I try to send him to private school? Will his vision ever get better? Will reading ever be easy, and what about sports? Should we do more therapy? I don't know. All I can do is go online and read what research I can find. And guess. And guess.

And go to JoAnn fabrics, buy some yardage, tear it up into scarves and fray the edges. Because I don't have time to be any craftier than that.

In other, lighter news. we went to a really lovely wedding. And we went apple picking and saw lots of family this weekend....

I do not love this photo of me but the boys look cute.

new shoes...

So cute right? AND I get to wear them with an equally pretty almost-retro, subtly satiny, chocolate brown, shirt dress with a slightly full skirt. Nearly Mad Men material. Pictures next weekend. And thanks to Helen for asking me to be her MAID OF HONOR....AND Amy for helping me shop via internet and cell phone pictures. I can't make any consumer decisions regarding what I wear without you...

There are moments (like right now) when I am sitting, sipping my coffee, early in the morning and trying my darndest to wrap my head around the details of Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and IDEA and how they are different (Thank God for Charts) and I think to myself: Why can't I open up my tender little brain and carefully pull out all of those lyrics to songs from the 80's that I don't really need. Let's face it, Belinda Carlisle after the GoGos, sooo not necessary and Don Henley? Don't need 'em. "Boys of summer" is a fun song but really I will survive if it comes on the radio and I don't know all the lyrics and Matty might just enjoy the quiet. I would replace all the space that Simply Red and Corey Hart and...(okay I will keep Duran Duran and Depeche Mode and Prince and OMD), I would replace it with stuff I want to remember now. What The Hell happened to my brain anyway?

This weekend I got very little done homework-wise. But, I did go out with two g-friends and I bought a pair of cute shoes that I honestly needed for a wedding. I might've worn my clogs if I wasn't actually IN the wedding...AND later today we have the choice of going to a garlic festival or apple picking. And really soon I am going to go back to reading. My saving grace in the reading department (which I am failing in right now) Is that I have jury duty tomorrow and I have heard that I will probably have some time to read then?