Friday, February 29, 2008

What I have done today...

I made refrigerator pickles today. Wholepaycheck was selling them on Wednesday and today I felt a bit smug as I made my own. Ezzie and I visited Henry's classroom (I love to do this but is usually not a possibility). I gessoed two masonite boards. I balanced the fact that I ate four fudge covered oreos with my coffee this morning by eating a huge salad for lunch with snow peas and a tangerine. Why we had oreos in my house is another story... Ezra and I have been having a lot of fun together on my day off. Lots of giggling, wrestling, goofy dancing, tent-making and drawing.

Hope you all have a great weekend...

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Awkward, the new cool

Today as I was walking home from work, in the absolutely frigid cold, I was ruminating on how uncool I am. I was wearing my enormous brown puffy down coat (at least two sizes too big), I had on Henry's knit hat, a pair of slightly over-large pull-on leather boots handed down from my mom when I couldn't bend over (during Henry's intrauterine growth stage). My glasses felt like shards of ice on my face. My nose was beginning to run. Because my hood was up as further wind protection, my glasses were beginning to fog. I had to keep adjusting my hood so that I could release the fog. So I was thinking about how I have never been truly cool. My taste in music is sometimes embarrasing
(does anyone else love Chaka Kahn?). I love Mystery on Masterpiece Theatre (Poirot and Miss Marple make me so happy). I tend to love clothing that is just a little bit too fuzzy or bright. Matty and John once had me convinced that there once existed an external combustion engine. I have a disgusting sugar craving that I occasionally indulge. I have bad hair, yes the bangs are already being grown out. Amidst all this thought I slid on the ice (and caught myself before completely falling) and a fellow uncool guy in front of me laughed along with me. We definitely recognized each other.

P.S Just in case some friends and family in my readership start feeling sorry and want to revel in their own "uncoolness", let me make this crystal clear, no one else is uncool. Except for Laurie, we are both dorks. Jen Z. you are close but you actually come full circle and are one of the coolest people I know. Tina you are very cool, your Mark is too and the two of you will probably have the only "cool" infant I have ever met. My siblings are all cool esp. Curt. who tries the least of anyone I know. The Ferraris are all cool although G and G come close to being partners in dorkiness with myself....I think they are saved because of the librarian and amazing artist cards. Anyone I haven't mentioned is cool. So there.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

a dream I had

I am on a small boat in the middle of Cayuga Lake. I know Henry is sitting next to me, although I am not looking at him. There is a woman sitting on the other side of me, she has a young daughter and a partner, she went to Wells too. Also on the blue water is a barge-like boat. Not as big as a barge but flat and industrial looking. It is not too far away from us, close enough to see with some detail, that the deck is flanked with dozens of vultures. The vultures are enormous and exaggerated sort of like muppet vultures but not funny ha ha muppet, more like dark crystal material. Then I am in a dark red room and this is where the dream fades.

I know it has to do with Rose. I have been thinking about her a lot. I have been thinking about how the last moment I saw her was in no way in my mind the possible last moment. I was in a gold LeSabre (rental car). She was pulling away from the SeaTac airport, I was entering the rental car area. I had followed her to a gas station, she and Henry and I hugged and then she led the way to the airport. I told her we would try and save money to visit the following year and she said she would try to get back east soon. It was sad but matter of fact. I am so good at denial, a professional really, and it was too painful to think that Rosie would die before we both had gray hairs so I convinced myself that she wouldn't. I crave a conversation with her. I need a conversation with her and her nutty laugh. I need her advice. I need her support and I selfishly don't believe, will not believe that it is forever gone. And frankly all of that Buddhist bullshit about knowing she is spiritually here and that I just need to pray and think about her, well it is not enough and it makes me angry. There I have said it. I feel cheated and the worst part is that I have cheated myself. I have committed the ultimate cliche, I've taken someone for granted and lost them forever.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

miso butter tofu and garlicky kale with noodles

It is sunny and beautiful outside and although the boys have been outside once today, the guilt is setting in. I have to get them out again.

I wanted to share another yummy favorite family recipe. The kale is something easy to make as a side or a topping for your favorite noodles. Garlicky Kale... something I learned from the lovely Nigella Lawson (an official crush of mine). There is something wonderful about voluptous women who are good cooks and aren't afraid to eat.

Miso butter tofu

preheat 400*

2 tbs white miso paste, but any will do

2 tsp. warm water

1/2 c. veg, broth

2 tbsp. rice vinegar

2tsp. soy sauce

1 minced scallion


2 cakes firm tofu, pressed, sliced, drained in colander a few minutes

let sit in mixture for as long as possible, Iv'e done it for a few hours and as little as 20 min. (it is still good)

spread out in pan, dot with butter

The trick with baking tofu (for my family at least) is a yummy sauce and baking long enough to make tofu crisp on outside.

Bake 50-55 minutes

Leftovers would be great on a salad or in sandwiches, we never have leftovers though!

Garlicky Kale

a bunch or two of kale, washed very well, stemmed and chopped ( I love Dino Kale a.k.a Lacinato)

a ton of garlic, let's say 5 cloves per bunch (more if you're sick or extra sassy), minced or pressed ( in garlic press)

balsamic vinegar

olive oil

heat oil in pan, med.low heat
add kale, it can be dripping from being washed
cover as best you can, cook until kale is mostly done, check temp to make sure it doesn'tburn on bottom, when mostly done, make well in kale add more oil and spread your garlic in the little well so it will cook but not burn. when you can smell the garlic it is probably done.

Take off heat and splash with balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper.

We generally boil some noodles, throw the kale on top add a few pieces of tofu and sprinkle parmesan on top of it all. So good!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

"Do you have a penisht Freddy?"

This is Ezzie asking the class pet if he has a penis....This is his favorite question lately.

Happy Birthday Dearest Henry!

Thank you to Auntie Molly for the amazing dragons...

Lemon cake with mandarin oranges. Henry wanted an "orange box cake". Now he prefers box cakes to homemade, like his dad. I can't complain 'cause I am still feeling ill. He requested spaghetti and meatballs ( turkey and quite delish) although Henry said he likes grandma's more....Good birthday despite my sickness and no kid party this year... M and I gave him three really cool books ( Mike Mulligan and his Steam shovel- Burton, The Train of States- Collins, and A Practical Guide to Dragons- Suncatcher) and a stuffed dragon toy.

We love these kids!

in the beginning...

Right around the time we found out we were pregnant...

pregnant with Henry...

days precious...

Sunday, February 17, 2008

flip a light switch and you're on the moon

I am so excited about this new documentary.

Friday, February 15, 2008


Today's Schedule

6:30..wake up to Ezra vomiting on top of me. Matt is battling an achy cold so change sheets, clothes, wipe off child, prepare for next river of puke with towels and bucket.

7... Ezzie seems okay so take hot shower. Organize laundry..wash hands again.

7:15... H. wakes up, get him dressed while he stares at Mr.Rogers that sick child is watching. Pour his cereal. Make avocado pita sandwich for his lunch.

7:40...Brush H.'s teeth and remember that 24 cupcakes need to be frosted, check on sick child. Sick child stilll has glazed expression while watching PBS.

8:00...Frost 24 mini cupcakes (hard to frost tiny cupcakes quickly, very messy). Monitor H's getting dressed for bus.

8:10...Go outside for bus.

8:15..Wave nonstop (as requested) until bus rounds corner.

8:25...Check on sick child and sick and grumpy husband.

8:35.. Check email and hear Rose's voice...forward to several special people ( if I missed you it is not that you are not special) and accidentally forward to Rosie...

8:45...go to Wholepaycheck for grapes, pirate booty and sparkling lemonade for school birthday snack..

We had a great snack at school. I love visiting Henry in his class. I just did all the laundry. I have been having good bittersweet thoughts of Rosie all day. It is sunny outside. My parents are coming for the weekend. I guess my life is okay.

one last love

The following is a follow -up to a story on Rose that was aired last year. I am not savvy enough to get the link to work correctly... but you can cut and paste it into your window or look it up on the website or use an old fashioned pencil, write it down and look it up....I just emailed it to a few people...including Rose herself...

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day

That moment of naturalness was the crystalizing feather-touch; it shook flirtation into love.

George Eliot, Middlemarch

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

M: I can't believe she said yes... she is the coolest girl in school, she was homecoming queen and she did cattle-judging in 4-H

Our Very First Date

This is Matty and I in highschool. Are we not cute and kinda dorky in a sweet way? We had no idea that in just 15 years we would be discussing what size diaper to buy and whether organic potatoes are worth the extra money.

I bought Matty the Bogey and Bacall dvd set for Valentine's day. He is madly in love with Lauren Bacall which is fine with me. He is supposed to get me" An Affair to Remember" which I will make him watch with me. I can't believe he has never seen it. That will be our date. We don't usually do anything beyond chocolates but we did our taxes early this year and went all out!

Henry and I finished the Valentines. He wrote every name on them and signed each one. I was so impresssed with how he could read each name and how he knew just what bracelet was right for each of his classmates. He was so pleased with the results.

Oh and when Maggie B. came (the babysitter and my brothers girlfriend) I got my hair trimmed and decided to get bangs again....Don't I finally look 30? Do I look older than 30? I am always surprised when I get my hair blown dry and combed out. I feel like I need a caravan and some kids...but I guess now I have everything but the van...and I really am more of a wagon girl.



Signs are small measurable things, but interpretations are illimitable, and in girls of sweet ardent nature, every sign is apt to conjure up wonder, hope, belief, vast as a sky, and colored by a diffused thimbleful of matter in the shape of knowledge.
-George Eliot, Middlemarch

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Popcorn and Valentines

Sometimes the only thing that will hit the spot is popcorn with nutritional yeast, salt and pepper. It is also a good workout if you make it on the stove.

Henry and I are making valentines for his class. We have been making homemade valentines for three years now. This year we decided to make friendship bracelets too. Just a few beads on some ric rac... How do you even spell ric rac? Is there a "k" involved? If only the correct spellings of notions were my worst problem. This afternoon I made a big mommy mistake when I found out Henry had not taken his folder out of his bag at school. I had a note for his teacher in there volunteering to take the class pet for a week ( Freddy, the hamster). I told Henry this and he was devastated. His teacher said the first one to send in a note could take the pet for a week. Poor H. was devastated. His friend Dante came over for a playdate and he said he was " too sad". I feel like the Wicked Witch of the West! To make it up to him I told him he could get a pet fish.

Monday, February 11, 2008


"By desiring what is perfectly good, even when we don't quite know what it is and cannot do what we would, we are part of the divine power against evil-widening the skirts of light and making the struggle with darkness narrower."
George Eliot, Middlemarch

Sunday, February 10, 2008

sweater bracelets

I made Henry and I matching cuff bracelets today. I used a bit of recycled sweater and some old buttons. I love that Henry loves to accessorize. He wore a fedora to school the other day. He loves jewelry. Woohoo!

Here is our pizza from friday night. I have two other food posts that I need to catch up on so I am just throwing this one out there. I made cinnamon rolls this morning from the leftover pizza dough. Our Friday night pizza toppings were quite gourmet...The large pizza had spinach, mushrooms, red onion, goat cheese, prosciutto, mozz and red sauce. The smaller white pizza had spinach, mozzarella, goat cheese, prosciutto , red onion and of course garlic and olive oil. Thanks to mama and papa Ferrari for the prosciutto!

Go Obama !

Please don't Poke the Cheese

I just heard Matt say that to Ezra from the kitchen and wished I had saved all of those phrases we hear the kids say or we say ourselves to the kids.....Matt and Ezra are making an omelette. I will be making sweet rolls soon. Henry is talking to his nana.
We have pretty much decided to go to New York for the summer. Matt has wanted to go. The only qualms I had were missing my garden, missing friends here, having our own space and missing the freedom Henry has here. That is a lot of things to miss but I think the benefits of going to New York outweigh the benefits of staying behind. The garden thing is big for me but I will have more gardens and I can still garden in both places a bit. I want Matt to help his brothers build his parents house. I miss our community there. I love watching the boys with their grandparents/ aunts and uncles. Those are very important relationships for both of them. I think going to New York will allow some space that these two boys need.They have been fighting so much! Matty and I will be able to go on some dates....Maybe I will start yogging again. I made the decision yesterday when I was already fuming at 8:30 in the morning....I don't want to be this mommy!!!!AAAArrrggghhhh Why do theyr fight so much? I was sure I would have a Willameena and a Louisa who would quietly play with dolls. I know not every girl is quiet and easy but I have taught many little ones and there is a definite gender pattern.I don'thave any new pics so here is one of me in my new glasses which I am wearing all the time. Sometimes I feel like I am backsliding into my 7th grade ... awkward phase, crazy hair and glasses loud plaid shirts... Scary...

Friday, February 8, 2008

sweater love

susan made this sweater for henry. ezzie wears it a ton, as did henry. i feel bad that i never sent susan a pic of the boys in it. so, here it is. it accidently got into the dryer once but is holding up beautifully. And you couldn't have picked a more beautiful color susan!


Today has already proven to be an adventure so far with an ill, single mother (deadbeat dad), car-less, student, neighbor needing to go the to Vet. hospital 40 min. away and me, having an important Henry mtg. at 10. The woman above whom I unfairly presented as a statistic is a hero in my book and we help her as much as we can. Since my immune system is barely recovering from a stomach bug, Matt dropped her off and came home, I immediately left for the mtg. and came home and Matt immediatly left to pick her up. I relayed this to Sharon earlier and she seemed impressed with us for helping her so much. Which almost surprises me because she and Paul are basically volunteer social workers. I only hope I can help half the people they do. And my own parents have always been the type to help anyone less fortunate. My mom basically adopted the whole Old Order Amish community in the North country, driving them to bus stations, giving them diapers, secretly doing laundry for overworked moms. She has always had a soft spot in her heart for new moms. If any new mom in a 500 mile radius needs a thing she is there. My dad too, has always been a good role model that way. Don't admire anything of his aloud or he will force it upon you. So, I guess I almost feel like I don't have a choice. I don't do much and I think when most people are offered the chance to help they will. I had this strange fascination as a child with being a saint. Did you know this mom and dad? Probably not, because I remember being very dissapointed as a young girl when I figured that I didn't have tha
t"gift". I almost couldn't control my naughtiness at times. And I was very creatively naughty. I think the most infamous story involves me tricking my younger brother (who was fascinated with forbidden koolaid at the time) into thinking the blood (from my nosebleed) and water in a dixie cup was the sweet drink. Sorry, I know that's really disgusting.

The pre-I.E.P mtg for Henry went well. Individualized Education Program (he may or may not need one). I popped into his classroom and his teacher said he is doing better and again she mentioned how bright he is. She said he scored super high on whatever inteligence test they gave him. So it is not an academic problem. She really seems to delight in him. He behaves like a saint... ha ha. He is reading in school. Which I wondered about, he is reading a bit at home but he tires of it quickly (esp.during the week). I think he just still loves to be read to.

Today is Friday. We always make pizza on Fridays. I am hoping to document the pizza-making. We think our pizza is pretty good.

p.s couldn't resist adding a picture of my hand sanitizer...and the leaves around a garden border rock (my favorite rock) outside our door.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Yes We can

I have had the vomits today but I had to pass this on. Anton sent this to me...Check it out

Monday, February 4, 2008


Bloom Gewerztraminer (sp.?) comes in a very pretty bottle and I must say the flavor is quite sharp, citrusy and refreshing. The sweetness is tempered quite nicely by the lemony zing.

I absolutely do not have a drinking problem. Would anyone who knows me really worry about that? I don't think so. But it is Monday and although my beloved in laws left me feeling a bit refreshed and rejuvinated, it is hard to get back into the swing of things. It's Monday...and Henry and Ezra are my sons. Matt has class until 10:00. So, I am having a glass. I drink mostly whites 'cause reds don't last long enough and although the NYTimes recently tried to convince me to put my reds in the fridge, I am not convinced. I like my reds room temp.

A half an hour ago, before my two monkeys started burying their plastic dinosaur collection in a mass of playdough, I caught Henry lost in music. His eyes were a bit glazed and he was moving his mouth and slouching and swaying his little frame in that way he does when he hears music he likes. I absolutely love to see it. He was listening to 'When Your Minds Made Up "( the very end) from the Once sdtrk. Can you tell we've been listening to that a lot? I know it came out last year but that is how we are around here!

I am going to try to blog a little less and do more.

I have a stack of future paintings (masonite board) that needs to be gessoed and I just ordered some fabric for spring skirts
(thanks to my "inheritance" heh heh..) from reprodepot... Susan, they have lovely fabric there and lots of Marimecko (sp.) which I know you like. Plus, I still haven't finished my curtains...

Leftovers are calling...

Incognito by Michael Sowa " Herbert"

This image came out a bit too light. It should be more haunting. She goes really well with "If you want me" on the Once sdtrk. I wish I had painted her.


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