Before I had kids I knew, as all non-parent people "know" certain things about child-rearing ha ha ha, that I wanted to be able to have frank discussions with my children about sex. I wanted them to feel comfortable approaching me with questions and concerns. I wanted them to not have sex until they were 40, but sure, I wanted them to be able to talk to matt and I about it. The other day I asked an older friend when she first spoke to her kids about sex and she said she spoke to them about it all along whatever that means?). I thought "Oh shit, I have some catching up to do."
I am scared, by the way, terrified really.
So the other day in the car, it came up. See, until recently, when my kids asked me about religion I answered them in a certain style, by asking them questions back and telling them that different people have different opinions about these things. And when they asked about birth I used a similar spiritual style with the addition of a few basic biological facts. So, Henry came up with some of his own ideas, and being the older brother to Ezra, Ez adopted these ideas as well. So they believe that you are a star in the sky before you are born. You look down and pick out your parents. Then when you die you become a star again. I was apparently picked because I am "beautiful and have long hair", they did not know that I have a temper and can be neurotic or they might have chosen someone else.
But the other day in the car, they wanted to know how a baby actually gets in the mom's belly. Oy Vay. So I breathed deeply. I told them all about eggs and *gulp* Sperm. I told them the eggs are found in the woman, the man provides the sperm. They wanted MORE INFORMATION!!! Why is this so scary for me? I told them the rest of the information was pretty complicated and I had groceries to unload. Which was true. But I also needed a glass of wine.
This is when living on a farm would be so handy. "You want to know about reproduction, Johnny?, Let's go watch the horses have at it and then we'll watch the filly being born in a few months." Or maybe we should stick with the chickens?
Julia Sweeney did a much better job than I, check it out on TED talks. Thanks to Kim for alerting me to this hilarious podcast!
the talk, scroll down to #31, Julia Sweeney (remember Pat on SNL?)