Friday, April 2, 2010


That last post was not about me, just so you know. Although one should never assume such things. I posted it because I have had at least 5 good friends in my lifetime who were abused by their partners. And unless I was told explicitly by 3 of them I would never have guessed. The first time I encountered this was in Georgia. Matt and I had two good friends who lived a few blocks away from our Trustee's Garden Village apt. in downtown Savannah. My friend was a beautiful smart women who for the most part seemed pretty happy. Her boyfriend was an ex-boxer who helped me plan my workouts (this was around the time I met Keanu Reeves at the gym, another story). After Matt and I moved back to NY, about a year later, I got an email from my friend with all new contact info. Apparently her ex-boxer boyfriend had been practicing on her for years, but only hitting her in the back of her head and other places where the bruises wouldn't be seen. This last time she was terrified and she ran from the apt. hopped in her car and drove off with nothing but her purse, She returned to get her things weeks later with her mother and a lawyer. Why did she stay so long? That is the crazy thing about abuse, I guess. It can be so hard to get out of. It messes with your head. I am having a very hard time watching people I love stuck in this scary place. But there is nothing I can do, except be there for them and blog about it I suppose.


Lauroral said...

so easy to find yourself in a relationship like this, becuase so much of the work these people do is subtle and done with such an art that you actually start to believe that it is OK. I see elements in so many of my past relationships. One boyfriend hid my car keys while we were arguing, pretending not to, and my therapist later told me that it was domestic battery. This is the kind of thing that everyone should learn to recognize at an early age. Instead of teaching abstinence, teach this.

楊偉誠 said...

thank u........................................


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